I guess I can officially say that I am terrified. But like every season, there’s a time to be happy and there’s a time to be on your toes. I guess God has this season for me to be on my toes in prayer. I don’t really know.
While I can’t and won’t discuss details online, I will say that everything I’ve ever believed and thought I knew is being put to the test. It’s like I’m being sifted, to see if I really do have absolute faith and reliance on my Lord and Savior or will that crumble under this test…. ? And I’m sure many others have felt at this point under much more strenuous circumstances. Under harder circumstances.
I just keep thinking of the song “Held” by Natalie Grant:
This is what it means, to be held
how it feels when the sacred is torn from life
and you survive…
this is what it is, to be loved
and to know that the promise was
when everything failed… we’d be held.
The real question is: Will I still be holding on to God when this trial is through? I hope I will be. I pray I will be…
So in the meantime I went out with my family this Saturday, bargain shopping and picking up a few details we had done without for so long. We had an enjoyable time and we drove by the Cook Inlet to get a glimpse of the waterfront:
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