Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I don't like it... I wonder if it's because bill collectors, or the landlord, or even God Himself would accept that excuse for me.
But I have to be honest in that I feel I need 28 hours in a day to be able to accomplish all the little things I need to do and then some of the bigger projects to tackle. I feel like after I come home from work I can only do ONE thing, then it's bedtime!
I either clean, or study for my Veterinary Assisting class, or do groceries, or read my Bible, or exercise, or train Pepper, or read to the kids. Maybe, with some coffee or coke, I can do two of these things in one night... But that's pretty much it. Unfortunately, these are ALL things I need to do, without neglecting my kids or my husband. And some of these are disciplines that I need to do every day for my own health (be it physically or spiritually)!
The priority level of these things are superseded by the ENERGY level I may have.
I know a lot of people would say that reading the Bible/praying are extras, for when I have time or if the kids fall asleep early. I would have to disagree. Do you want to see me in a crappy mood? Let me go weeks without refreshing my thought process, my heart, and my emotions in God's Word. Any grace that I may have, any good virtue, any thing admirable or praise worthy is all a direct effect of God working in my life through my relationship with Him.
Outside of God I'm cranky, short-tempered, and harsh. Vengeful and spiteful. Lazy unlike anything on this green earth! I do not make a good employee, friend, wife, or mother without God's help. I'm not being preachy, just honest!
And yet I find myself running on an empty tank, hoping I don't break down before the next fill-up, I treat myself spiritually the way I do my car! Paycheck to paycheck, empty to empty.
My physical being needs maintenance and upkeep as well. These extra pounds I'm carrying aren't helping me get over sore joints and aches any quicker. I don't want to slim to a specific size or weight, I want to be healthy! To know that I can run as fast and as far as my kids and my husband if the need arises. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I know the answer is discipline! I'm praying for it, alongside wisdom. Getting up a little earlier, being more productive on my lunch break, getting the kids to go to bed at a sooner hour. Investing time and effort into those things I consider worthwhile a little every day! It frustrates me to KNOW what I have to do and yet have no real intentions of executing it. I sometimes wonder if I am working too much, even though at this point I need to.
Lord, You love me and You know me. You know exactly where I am right now, and how to reach me. I'm calling out to You for help. I need Your strength. I need that strength from Scriptures, like the one that says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Give me the wisdom to prioritize my hours, my day, and thus my life. Give me the joy and zeal during the day to accomplish the things that are important to You! Give me the rest and peace at night so I can sleep and recover from day to day. Give me a passion and a calling that will push me more than what I may be feeling physically or mentally. I am breaking free from pain and fatigue in Your Name, because Your work on the cross made me whole! In the Name of Jesus I pray - Amen.
Monday, July 11, 2011
♪♫ When I climb down the mountain, and get back to my life I won't settle for ordinary things. I'm gonna follow You forever, for all of my days. I won't rest 'till I see You again! Show me Your glory! Send down Your presence, I wanna see Your face! Show me Your glory! Majesty shines about You, I can't go on without You, Lord... ♪♫ - Third Day
This part of the song has been stuck in my head the past few days. I know the whole song by heart but I can't seem to remember the rest of it, just this part. I guess you could call it a "mantra".
I am more complete, more whole, more joyful the more I am in love with my Savior. No matter what my circumstance, or what's been done to me, or how I've messed up - there is no room for discontentment when you are experiencing Christ! And if you are feeling kinda' low lately, know that there is a whole in your soul that only God can fill - there's nothing else under heaven that satisfy you completely.
That satisfaction is what Jesus was referring to when He told the Samaritan woman at the well that "springs of living water would flow" from within those who drink from what He has to offer; the Holy Spirit, refreshing and renewing us from the deepest part inside us.
I went camping this weekend with our church, which was AWESOME. I had a chance to meet and hang out with the people I see in passing on Sunday morning. Made me glad Paul and I chose the church we did. Made some friends and hope to develop these friendships into meaningful bonds as the family we are in Christ.
But the call to go camping wasn't just for the smelly, sticky feeling of not showering for a few days and eating food roasted on a fire, but rather to go up to the mountain and hear from God. I think our family needed to get away and go up to nature to refresh our hearts.
If you are not an "outdoorsy person", you don't know what you are missing! You can't look at nature, be out there in nature, and not see the glory of God. Because the scenery is beautiful (the mountains, lakes, rivers, rocks, trees, flowers, etc.), it is a direct reflection of the beauty of God the Creator. You can't help but appreciate this God who made so many details, so beautiful, for no other reason than for us to enjoy!
In my alone time, I couldn't get past this part of Scripture:
John Chapter 1 1 In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He existed in the beginning with God. 3 God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. 4 The Word gave life to everything that was created,[a] and his life brought light to everyone. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.[b].
10 He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. 11 He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. 12 But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. 13 They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.Jesus was the Word that, when spoken, brought about creation in all its glory. And the people He created have missed the mark; we didn't all recognize Him. Some of us even rejected Him. But to those of us who saw Him for who He was - the Glorious One, God made man - He gave us the right to become children of God. Reborn, from God Himself.
Man that was refreshing! I've read this scripture many times. I had memorized this chapter (along with the rest of the book of John) for Teen Bible Quiz in the New International Version. But it came alive in that it was precisely what I needed to be reminded of; I have the right to be a child of God.
I guess I always thought it was something kind of automatic. The problem with that thought process is that very often, with all the trials we've been through, I felt more like an unloved step-child! Like the unwanted child... as if God didn't have enough blessing in store to bless everyone else AND bless me too. But I was wrong!
He gives us the right to become children of God. We can choose not to exercise that right the same way people who have valid driver's license can choose not to drive.
I have been born again as a daughter of God. I am joint heir with Christ, a daughter of the King, an ambassador not just by position, but also by sharing a passion with my Father for His kingdom! Everything He has, I can use, all I have to do is ask. I am not a beggar, a foster, a slave. I am a princess to God!
I guess that's the beauty of the ministry of adoption according to God's Word. In a true, genuine adoption, you are a member of the family with the same rights as if you were born into it. That's why God says our spirits inside us change, to where we see God as "Abba", or in other words, "Daddy!"
It's a smack-in-the-forehead moment when you realize that you KNEW all this. I mean, I'm writing all these things and I know it's nothing new! I've heard it dozens of times before. But now it's personal, it's embedded, it sunk in to my mind and my heart. It was made alive for me this weekend, on a bench, in the bush, with a view of the mountain.