I am having a rough time. I've hit a screeching breaks halt in my life right now in my goals and just my energy, period.
Lately I always feel like really bad allergies - on my way to a sinus headache - you know, that burn you feel just before you sneeze? Imagine being on "pause" at that very moment all day, and feeling that burn all the time. That's how I feel.
I'm sleepy all the time. But at 10pm, when I NEED to sleep, I'm wide awake.
I started focusing on my weight goals again and I exercised Monday, but not today because I was tired and sore. Then I tell Paul I'm going to sleep at 9pm, but get a surge of "I can't sleep" because everything hurts so I do groceries instead. What in the world!?
At least I know I'm still watching what I put in my mouth. And at work, the biggest chunk of my day, I do pretty good! I'm watching calories and not counting them in detail, but being aware of serving sizes.
I'm short fused with the kids and I have no patience with them whatsoever. And it's because of always feeling exhausted and running on fumes. Then I'll try to relax and pick up my Bible and I can't focus on what I'm reading because it hurts to read.
Which, by the way, is a major part of what I do at work. I need to read documents and read stuff and type stuff in correctly and I've contributed to deforesting 1/3 of the planet based on all the pages I had to shred because I wrote "Cape" instead of "Cave" or "46,442.00" instead of "44,462.00". Not to mention the waste of billable hours.
I need strong prayer support! Paul comes home not this week, but next week. Vanessa has been a great help. The kids haven't been THAT bad. But I have this secret goal I am pursuing and I need to get myself together. At least physically.
The kids need me to. They need me to play and read to them and I've stunk completely at being a mom.