Why blog?

It's therapeutic... specially for dorks like me who communicate better when they have the chance to process their thoughts, select their words, and write precisely what they want to say. As much as I'm a "talker", I stumble, stutter, and don't always say things right. English as a second language might have something to do with that (unfortunately, I don't think I could blog in Spanish... I lost my grammar in that language). I like to pour out my thoughts and leave it out there in the cosmos (or the world wide web) for other people to mull over...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I am having a rough time. I've hit a screeching breaks halt in my life right now in my goals and just my energy, period.

Lately I always feel like really bad allergies - on my way to a sinus headache - you know, that burn you feel just before you sneeze? Imagine being on "pause" at that very moment all day, and feeling that burn all the time. That's how I feel.

I'm sleepy all the time. But at 10pm, when I NEED to sleep, I'm wide awake.

I started focusing on my weight goals again and I exercised Monday, but not today because I was tired and sore. Then I tell Paul I'm going to sleep at 9pm, but get a surge of "I can't sleep" because everything hurts so I do groceries instead. What in the world!?

At least I know I'm still watching what I put in my mouth. And at work, the biggest chunk of my day, I do pretty good! I'm watching calories and not counting them in detail, but being aware of serving sizes.

I'm short fused with the kids and I have no patience with them whatsoever. And it's because of always feeling exhausted and running on fumes. Then I'll try to relax and pick up my Bible and I can't focus on what I'm reading because it hurts to read.

Which, by the way, is a major part of what I do at work. I need to read documents and read stuff and type stuff in correctly and I've contributed to deforesting 1/3 of the planet based on all the pages I had to shred because I wrote "Cape" instead of "Cave" or "46,442.00" instead of "44,462.00". Not to mention the waste of billable hours.

I need strong prayer support! Paul comes home not this week, but next week. Vanessa has been a great help. The kids haven't been THAT bad. But I have this secret goal I am pursuing and I need to get myself together. At least physically.

The kids need me to. They need me to play and read to them and I've stunk completely at being a mom.

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