Why blog?

It's therapeutic... specially for dorks like me who communicate better when they have the chance to process their thoughts, select their words, and write precisely what they want to say. As much as I'm a "talker", I stumble, stutter, and don't always say things right. English as a second language might have something to do with that (unfortunately, I don't think I could blog in Spanish... I lost my grammar in that language). I like to pour out my thoughts and leave it out there in the cosmos (or the world wide web) for other people to mull over...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Now what?

So I'm now trying to blog about something else to keep my mind off how I physically feel. *blegh*

There's been a lot of questions in my mind, and I guess even though I've been here in Anchorage for a year I'm still trying to find my place. I love my job, and I'm disappointed when I can't physically go because I truthfully don't mind being at the office at all. Still, do I want to go into law? Nope. Not at all. What do I want to do? Here's what I've concluded: I either want to be America's Next Top Model, or a Vet, or a physical trainer (exercise coach).

But guess what? There are no veterinary schools in Anchorage. At all. Not even tech schools. I'd have to move to FAIRBANKS. You non-Alaskan people can look it up on a map. If you thought Anchorage was far, FAIRBANKS is like a rock's throw away from the north pole.

I need to lose 30 lbs before trying to teach others how to be healthy! I'm working on it.

Soooo I guess I will send in an application to ANTM and see what happens. The worst that can happen is rejection, which now that my skin is much tougher, I can live with that! In fact, rejection I can deal with. Hypocrisy I can't. Backstabbing either. I've experienced enough of both and it's only by the grace of GOD working in me that I'm not a paranoid, un-trusting freak.

So that's a crossroad that I'm at. I dunno whether to stay or go in a lot of different areas in my life so I'm opting for the path of total inactivity until I make up my mind or its made up for me. I feel this way about my church too. So I guess I'm going back to my original question, "God, why did You bring me all the way to Anchorage?" Because He had the power to provide Paul a good job in Florida, where we were already settled in an AWESOME church, and had the support of our AWESOME family... Where Christmas and New Years and Thanksgiving were AWESOME... and all our AWESOME friends since junior high were there...

It's hard not to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side!

And then again, I LOVE Anchorage. I love the weather, believe it or not - or at least, how extreme it changes. I love the mountains. I love the scenery. I love the downtown and I love the suburbs. I love the fresh air and the 10 months or so I haven't had a migraine headache (with 2 exceptions). I love that my kids can play in the back yard (when the snow isn't 4 ft high) and I can watch them w/o worry. I love seeing the Moose (or "Meese", as I call them in plural) off the side of the road.

But once again, here I am asking, "Now what?"

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