I was really stressed out because my job wasn't going great. I felt more like a failure than an apprentice, and I was truly discouraged. I guess the challenge is that in my job right now, I will never "get it"... not unless I go to law school and become an attorney myself! (not likely!)
Basically, I'm in a job where I'll never master it, never really be independent, because at the end of the day in my job its my boss that has to do it. I'm always evaluated, and I never have it right. And it's not failure on my part - it's just the job!
So how can I work someplace where I will be held down like this? I don't mind serving, I guess... Actually, let me take that back. I love feeling like I helped. I like working at a place where I am an asset to the place I work at.
At the end of the day, I want my job to be blessed because I was there.
I'm not quite feeling that way at my current job.
So I prayed about it, and decided I'm going to give my best until God moves me out.
Then I also prayed about God would move me out. I realized that I really, REALLY want to work with animals. I want a career with animals. So I looked around and found places that are hiring to work with animals and I went ahead and applied. I figured, I'm not quitting to go to another "whatever" job. But I will make a move if the door opens for me to work at my heart's desire. I leave the timing up.
And then, I felt at peace. So much, that I put shoes on and went for a jog. I put on my Runtones and ran, all the way around the lake. I took in the scenery, the fresh air, the sunlight at 9pm. The mountains, the pain in my chest, the burn in my calves.
I truly thank Jesus for the hope I have in him. The strength I have in Him. I failed PE because I didn't want to run - it hurt my knees. I did a mile in 16 minutes in high school. I go around the lake and back in 30 minutes - and it's about 6 miles (so the hiking map says)! He gave me the strength to reach, to hope, and to try things that I had never tried before. He gave me the confidence to believe that I can jog, lose weight, get healthy, have energy, and live exactly the life I want.
I love being out here! I love the summer, the sunlight! The playing outside late! The family energy! I feel like I'm alive! Bring it on!