It's therapeutic... specially for dorks like me who communicate better when they have the chance to process their thoughts, select their words, and write precisely what they want to say. As much as I'm a "talker", I stumble, stutter, and don't always say things right. English as a second language might have something to do with that (unfortunately, I don't think I could blog in Spanish... I lost my grammar in that language). I like to pour out my thoughts and leave it out there in the cosmos (or the world wide web) for other people to mull over...
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Seeing the Light
Things are definitely looking up. I have to praise God because I feel this release of blessing and hope and a future over me. I finally feel that Scripture and life are not so distant after all.
It has been one of the harshest winters I've ever experienced, both literally and figuratively. But just like we are gaining more and more day light in AK, I feel like I'm getting more and more light myself. And I feel stronger for not throwing in the towel and heading to FL.
Paul is now a FT employee, even though first he had to accept a job on an as-needed basis before they promoted him. I'm doing pretty well at work myself, by God's grace. The kids are doing good at school/day care and Anakin has actually improved from one semester to the next.
That's not to say that there weren't moments when I didn't scream or wonder why God was picking on me... but I came out on the other side this year understanding God's love for me and growing in my relationship with him.
I've made some awesome friendships during this winter that have helped me keep my sanity and my head above water. I ♥ my co-workers!
Having hope, knowing we'll soon have a bigger place to live, seeing bills get paid and things get caught up... opening my heart and my mind to give more - not just my tithe at church but also sponsoring a child in the Middle East through World Vision and supporting a missionary family (who happen to own a rat terrier!) in Tanzania (Africa), has been like medicine to my soul. Things aren't perfect but I know we are getting there.
In the meantime, I'm deeply in prayer for a friend who is battling cancer. It seems I can never escape that ugly word. It also seems like it hits people who are closer to maternal figures to me; women I look up to or admire. My grandmother, her sister, my aunt, my mom, myself... It's so vicious but I refuse to let it win and I will fight it the best way I know how: 1) Praying. With God, all things are possible. 2) Supporting activities and organizations like Relay for Life or St. Baldricks. 3) Being healthy myself.
On the healthy note, Paul and I decided to go almost-vegetarian. We've had one week of no red meat or dairy and we feel great. The only protein source we've had is chicken or fish, mostly fish. Lot's of veggies. Rye bread, soy milk, organic cereals and noodles. Paul lost 2 inches and 8 lbs in 6 days; without even exercising. I lost 4 lbs and I'm starting to get enough energy to do 30 min. walks a day (if I can find enough places to walk on and we're not under 12 ft of snow!). It's not a diet as much as a life change. And it's also not just for dieting's sake; I am detaching my emotions from food. I refuse to use food to reward or punish myself; I will find my satisfaction in God. I will only use food for what God intended it to be; for nourishment. As such, I don't really need hamburgers and fries because they have little nutritional value.
And I've been drinking lots of tea!
In all this prayer/reflecting time, the one thing that tugged on my heart enough to get me to stop thinking about myself and start thinking about another need was abortion. Not as much a judgement call on women who have had abortions, but rather the profit and the industry that is being made out of it. I'm a tree-hugging pro-life; I can't see being all about saving dolphins in Taiji and supporting the Pit Bull breed but not caring about the unborn. And I care about the women, and their hearts, and the situations that put them to where they want/need an abortion. So I am going to tackle this two-fold: 1) I'm fundraising for the local crisis pregnancy center so they can continue to provide excellent services to help more moms keep their babies or have the babies adopted without costing them an arm and a leg. 2) I'm praying that the local Planned Parenthood goes out of business... strategically. Not to be harsh against it's employees specifically, but women's health and pregnancy counseling and as much as I hate to say it, abortions, need to be handled by actual OB/GYNs and professionals that really do CARE about the health of the woman and aren't keeping their business alive off the abortion practice.
Well, that's it for now. I have 2 blogs, one for my animals and one for everything else. I've updated both, now I'm going to bed!
Posted by Maria K. Hass at 3:12 AM