I just had to share...
I have been feeling a tad bit tight, a little discouraged... And I was driving this morning on the way to work, going as fast as I can. I was praying while I was driving, and I honestly don't remember at all what I was saying.
I know I asked for Paul to get a good job soon, and for things to look up. I'm sure I mentioned how anxious I've been and how I'm having such a hard time trusting in Him. I know I'm having a difficult time just believing and accepting that God would have good things in store for me; it often feels like He has plans to prosper everyone else BUT me. And I've fallen into this habit of NOT praying and NOT asking for anything so that I'm not disappointed if things don't work out for me.
I am distracted from this out-pouring of ... discouragement, in honesty... by a red light that I almost ran. Right in front of me drives a pick up truck w/ a Green Bay Packers flag. And I heard God ask me the question, "Maria, why were you rooting for the Green Bay Packers when they played against the Pittsburg Steelers that one Superbowl a few years ago?"
Uh... heck if I know. Rewind to 2011, I think... maybe 2010... and we watched the game at our old church, w/ a pot luck. The Pastor and his family went for the Steelers. Carla and I seemed to be the only ones going for the Packers. The Who played during half-time.
"Maria, why did you like the Packers?"
I don't know anything about football. I can only tell which team is winning. What did I know about the Packers? What was it about that team that subconsciously attracted me to it?
Then I remember, in Oklahoma, being on a book-reading club so to speak, with a couple of friends in OKC and in Dallas, reading the autobiography of Vincent Lombardi.
I don't know anything about football, but I remember in my heart the testimony of Vince Lombardi; the struggles he went through, the odds he overcame. Some of his quotes. That's what tugged at my heart this most recent Super Bowl. That's the reason why I was rooting for them.
"Maria, why do you still want to watch the movie 'Invincible'? You are not even really into football. Why did you love facing the giants? or Remember the Titans?"
I ... don't know. I prefer a sports genre movie over a chick flick any day...
"It's because of the story. It's the same story - and you are a sucker for it. You like the theme of the heroes overcoming incredibly difficult challenges, of beating the odds. Of the underdogs coming up on top. You love it when it is said that 'they'll never make it' - and then they succeed! Whether in 'The Hunger Games', or the Green Bay Packers, you love that story.
Because it's your story. You are genetically wired to endure difficult challenges, and to go through them with a smile on your face and kindness in your heart. And these trials aren't all you are built for; your very core was designed for success. For victory. And you will get there! Because you will continue to push through until you do. And that is your testimony, your story - that you are invincible, and your life will inspire others the way these kinds of things inspire you."
So when I felt down later in the evening, having forgotten all about my drive into work, over-all low on energy and just trying to put dinner together... When I was wondering why I even bother, and I said, "I give up. I'm done." I heard the faint whisper in my heart that said, "You are not. You're invincible."