Why blog?

It's therapeutic... specially for dorks like me who communicate better when they have the chance to process their thoughts, select their words, and write precisely what they want to say. As much as I'm a "talker", I stumble, stutter, and don't always say things right. English as a second language might have something to do with that (unfortunately, I don't think I could blog in Spanish... I lost my grammar in that language). I like to pour out my thoughts and leave it out there in the cosmos (or the world wide web) for other people to mull over...

Saturday, June 12, 2010

It's quiet... TOO quiet...

The kids are asleep! Without much fussing! THANK YOU JESUS!

So now its quiet but I'm waiting for Paul to come home... and I'm bored! We watched One Tree Hill (Vanessa got me addicted to this show! Seriously! It helps that the guy who plays "Lucas Scott" is pretty darn cute too LOL but I never watched these TV shows before.)

I am patiently waiting for the new season of House MD to go on the air.

So I finished one work week, in full. Accomplished a couple of things, though now I'm exhausted! Work was heavy. And then I came home and did a pretty heavy work out on top. The p90x is ridiculously intense. But after an hour of working out I feel great! Sore, but great. Why? Because I feel strong. I feel prouder of myself for eating healthy all day, skipping on the coke and chocolate, and working out to a sweat. The only thing I'm disappointed about is that I don't have any time to jog anymore.

I really like jogging because it clears my thoughts and gives me some alone time. So does Blogging. Hey! Jogging and Blogging rhyme! I can start a rap! (I just did a "Tim" here. *ahem*).

But in the end I can't really complain. It's amazing that I even DO anything with as little energy as I have! And so much mental stress. I feel like my brain is juggling 20 different things at the same time. It's hard to focus on one thing.

I am leaving my current job as a paralegal to go to work for Petco as a dog groomer while I do school full-time to be a Vet Tech. So I'm preparing for both jobs, and I will have to do both jobs through the end of the month. *eeeek!*

So today I look at my first set of books and study materials and my first thought is, "There is no way!" The house is too messy. My brain is too messy. We have too much going on for me to even pretend that I can retain some of this information - as interesting as it is to me!

I'm still trying to move. But after 3 applications of some sorts everyone has just put us on hold. No word. No yes. No no. I mean, tell us something! That we have to wait, or that we won't be accepted, or ... something! But we leave messages and we call and no one - NO ONE - has called us back. Which I wish they did because then I can "drop those balls" so to speak, mentally! If they would actually return our call then I wouldn't have to force myself to remember to stay on top of them.

So today I got bored and planned a birthday party for Anakin. LOL. Yeah pay some cash and plan a birthday party because you are bored during your lunch time, right? Maybe not. But it worked out ok. We'll see. I found this place that is like a chuckee cheese and a starbucks combined. There's an indoor jungle gym for kids, and lattes of all sorts for adults. I reserved the place privately too so I don't have to worry about someone else taking my kids, or have to deal with someone else's kids.... Anakin loves Chuck E Cheese - I HATE IT! I hate the crowdedness, the rudeness of the other kids, the parents that pick fights there (really mature!). I think I found an appropriate compromise.

Now I only pray people come. Like, at least the 10 kids I was thinking about that were the max that would show up! Because if it just ends up being Vi, Paul, the kids, and me... well... that would be ONE CRAZY EXPENSIVE get together! I would've taken the money and gone to Girdwood! LOL

I've never been to Girdwood... not past the gas station where we got gas on the way to Seward.

Mundane things, I know. I wish today I had some deep spiritual truth to impart. But the truth is... today I'm just mundane! I'm functioning on auto-pilot, stretching my faith by exercising when all I think about all day is SLEEP. The peak of my motivation is getting to bed. Pathetic, I know!

On a different note, I am going to a First Time Home Buyers workshop tomorrow. It's all day, and you are eligible for certain credits/grants if you attend (it depends). It's with the Alaska Finance and Housing Corporation. I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure Paul is too.

I had the chance to audition today for a play and I got cold feet. I felt unprepared. I couldn't even find the time to memorize an audition piece, everything was so half-butted, and I didn't have enough notice to get a babysitter. It felt like a train wreck.

Then again, most of my life I feel like I'm on wheels, spiraling out of control into an evident crash in the near future. I want the dust to settle. I want to feel like I'm in control of my own two feet.

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